In 2009 I graduated from Kings Point and got on my first ship, the USNS Kanawha, as a Third Assistant Engineer.
I wanted to be trusted and treated with respect but also wanted “the boys” to think I was cool and laid back. I envied the experienced, higher level officers on the ship and wanted to be on their level but walked around with a lackadaisical attitude and started hanging out with the wrong crew. I justified my lack of ambition with the fact that I was new and young; being “liked” was a high priority for me. My day to day actions didn’t align with the person I wanted to become.
I realized that in order to be treated differently I couldn’t wait around for recognition, a title change, or a sign of respect that was never going to come. Even if I got what I wanted, external validation was not going to fix my situation, I needed to make those changes internally first.
When you start treating yourself with discipline and respect, people around you will notice something is different. Shortly after you start, your environment and life will begin to change.
Don’t wait around for that raise, title change, or any external validation to be the person you want to become. Make that change with your own actions first, and the rest will fall into place.
Be so good they can’t ignore you.